Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Books vs. E-Books: 8 reasons to love or hate either.

Good Things About Books:

1.  They have sexy spines, esp. when they are all lined up against each other in a library.
2.  Marginalia could not exist without them.
3.  You can take a bath with one.
4.  When feeling uncomfortable in a crowd, you can hold them to your chest.  This wards off evil.
5.  When you hold a book you hold the entire history of printing and paper in your hands.
6.  If you leave random piles around your home, when people visit, they can be used as conversation starters, and also end tables.
7.  A backpack full of books makes a good weapon against potential muggers.
8.  If you read books, butterflies will fly out of your brain.

Bad Things About Books:

1. If you carry more than fifteen at a time you will develop a hunchback.
2. They get old and turn yellow.  Like some people.  But that isn't funny.  Not at all.
3. They can be damaged by: dogs, little children with teeth, (little children without teeth too) water, fire, and bookworms (though I've never seen one.)
4. You have to kill trees to make books.  Someday we may need those trees.
5.  Publishers and the politics of publishing.  In general and not specifically.
6.  Unrequited desire. No matter how many you have, you can never have them all.
7.  Sometimes, they smell kinda funny.  Like some people.  But this isn't very funny either.
8.  They can make your head explode. Really. And this is actually disturbing.  There should be studies done.

 Good Things About E-books

1. If you own a kindle or an iPad or a nook you are automatically uber-cool and tech savvy. And there is a possibility you will develop super powers.
2. You don't have to worry about becoming a hunchback because a kindle is not very heavy.
3. You can read in the dark.  (With Super-vision.)  And that's just silly. Silly, but true.
4. You can read as many books at the same time as you want to and never lose your place again.
5. Cheap, fast, easy, instant gratification-book porn, free online books are everywhere.
6. Did I mention that if you own an iPad, nook, or kindle you are awesome?
7. No more danger. Painful and potentially deadly paper cuts are history!
8. Memory capacity almost equal to the Mind of God.  Brings literature to the masses. Very alturistic.

Bad Things about E-books

1.  If you wanted to take a bath with one, you probably could, but you would die to death if you accidentally dropped it, (metaphorically speaking.) Or, okay, maybe literally also. (electricity + water = bad)
2.  If attacked by a mugger, a backpack full of a nook ain'ta gonna do-a you-a mucha good.
3.  Frankly, they are just ugly.  Little aesthetic appeal.
4.  Likely hosts hidden spy software from which the government seeks to implant electrical impulses to control your brain.
5.  If you want to high-light or underline something using an actual writing utensil, well, too bad.
6.  Can not be used to prop up a wobbly table.  And even if you had like a hundred of them, you still could not use them as end tables either.
7.  If you buy a kindle, nook, or iPad this month, by next month they will have a newer, better model.
8.  They are not books.

Book of Hours

(this is a book)

"The Power of Books" photographs by Mladen Penev